So my meditation challenge didn't work out. I was busy with finals, having friends in town, friends leaving town, and in plain English, I just didn't do it. In the meantime, I have friends going on 10 day retreats. How are they doing this?
Failing to finish something I told myself I was going to, breaking my own promises, makes me feel a little crappy about myself. This is not the first time I have done this and I have come to terms that sometimes I don't do things that I tell myself I am going to do. I don't even come up with excuses, I just don't do them. This is forcing some bad karma on me, I am sure. Just the negative thought that I failed on something is a bad karmic seed. Angry thoughts are followed by your prana. I know all this. Blah.
Rather than beat myself up about it (which I used to be able to do for hours), I now face how I am feeling. This facing of emotions takes time, and it becomes a great excuse to meditate. So I sit down, break down the emotion and bring that emotion full circle. First, I accept that the emotion is coming from me, it's my karmic seed. I also meditate on knowing that I chose to label the emotion as I did ("failing" makes me feel shitty) I change the label of the emotion (boom! now my failure is a learning experience in which now I can take the opportunity to be good and reliable to others) and at last, accept that this feeling it's just an idea I created in your head. It's empty.
So here I am. After enjoying a meditation, I am going through old emails, responding to invites, being honest about what event I can go to and which one I can't attend. Being reliable to others. Stopping the cycle.
Failing to finish something I told myself I was going to, breaking my own promises, makes me feel a little crappy about myself. This is not the first time I have done this and I have come to terms that sometimes I don't do things that I tell myself I am going to do. I don't even come up with excuses, I just don't do them. This is forcing some bad karma on me, I am sure. Just the negative thought that I failed on something is a bad karmic seed. Angry thoughts are followed by your prana. I know all this. Blah.
Rather than beat myself up about it (which I used to be able to do for hours), I now face how I am feeling. This facing of emotions takes time, and it becomes a great excuse to meditate. So I sit down, break down the emotion and bring that emotion full circle. First, I accept that the emotion is coming from me, it's my karmic seed. I also meditate on knowing that I chose to label the emotion as I did ("failing" makes me feel shitty) I change the label of the emotion (boom! now my failure is a learning experience in which now I can take the opportunity to be good and reliable to others) and at last, accept that this feeling it's just an idea I created in your head. It's empty.
So here I am. After enjoying a meditation, I am going through old emails, responding to invites, being honest about what event I can go to and which one I can't attend. Being reliable to others. Stopping the cycle.
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