Trickster Energy I currently live at a former ashram a few hours north of the city where bramacharya was a common practice. Bramacharya is translated as celibacy or sexual continence in the yamas or if we want to be looser, energy management. In my teaching in NYC studios, this practice is commonly understood as energy management because we can’t fathom the idea of celibacy or abstinence. Bramacharya also posed its challenges for this ashram. Some people couldn’t do it. Rather, they were doing it. There was a scandal. Sex is electric and essentially creation so how do we confront it in the modern world as yogis and yoginis? For me, I know that I am more conscious of my energy and how to manage it because of my yogic practice. And I think this has stemmed from the physical changes that yoga produced in my body. I am more confident and have watched my physical body transform, losing about 30 pounds and two cup-sizes. Before I began my daily practice, I was five feet tall and a 34DD. My chest was the first thing people would notice about me. I hated my body and thought that it attracted unwanted attention. Yet, I was simultaneously craving that physical attention and resenting myself for those cravings. So there it was, the cycle of attraction and aversion that we yogis consciously try to break. Yoga helped me cultivate compassion and awareness of my sexual patterns, offering me tools to find grace and beauty within and so I wasn’t looking for approval or love from sources outside myself. It has helped me to stay present and laugh which is great - on the mat and between the sheets. This got me to wondering how others felt about how these two energies - yoga and sex - worked on and for them. Andy, a 50 year old yoga teacher, explained that it is the breath that brings us in connection with the present moment and through physical intimacy, we are able to yoke or connect our breath to another being’s breath. And this is essentially what the vibration of the universe is, constant inhalation and exhalation, expansion and contraction. “Sex erases the lines between people,” he says, “it is the divine dance of Shiva and Shakti, a union of two, which can’t be experienced alone.” Rebecca a 25 year old dancer and yogini said consistent yoga practice made her feel “divinely feminine.” She’s comfortable exploring sexual relationships without emotional connection, though she admits “that part is nice too.” Rob, a 40-year old yoga teacher, who identified himself as having an addiction to sex (as well as other addictions) decided to practice bramacharya for a year. He also cut out sugars, wheat, caffeine, and dairy. He reported more clarity at work and learned how to play the guitar. Now, he’s working on the integration, the practice of finding joy and pleasure without going to that place of over-doing and going into hedonistic free-fall. He’s just entered into a new romantic relationship in which he reports how different it is to have sex with the lights on and sober. “It’s not easy,” he says, “I’m much more self-conscious than I was before, but I’m OK with that. I know it’s part of the process.” Susan, a 32 year old yoga student, spoke about how a year of a more regular yoga practice helped her feel more attractive and then she felt more attraction to others. Eventually it was this sense of empowerment that enabled her to leave a ten-year abusive relationship. She looks me in the eye when she says, “yoga was the catalyst that enabled me to change my life.” A few days ago I took a yoga class where the teacher played Al Green’s “Sexual Healing.” First she had asked our permission, saying if it offended anyone, she wouldn’t play it. She made a joke about replacing the phrase with “second chakra healing.” Many of us store pent up emotions of fear, anger, and shame in our hips. The second chakra is also home to creativity and it’s right above the first chakra of feeling rooted and safe and below the navel, the home of power and self-confidence. So it seems only natural for our yogic practice to address our sex lives. And when we shine the light on it, it becomes something to inquire about instead of something to judge. The root of the word yoga means to yoke or connect and that is essentially what we are learning to do in our intimate practices. --Carly Sachs |
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