Gather, Rejoice, Repeat

As the year comes to an end, I am going to look back through my journal, 6x book, emails and Facebook to sort out what my year was like.   Although cumbersome, I will do this to rejoice on all the little things that I accomplished, to pat myself in the back on all the things that I've improved on, things I've learned, and to thank all those individuals that have made a difference in my life.  Lastly, I will put together my resolutions.   

My list will probably look something like this: 

- Sleep less (yes, I have a sleeping problem)

- Meditate for 30 minutes a day

- Save money

- Surf at least 20 times in New York (ECK!) 

- Yoga four times a week

- Talk to my nephews twice a week (I can hear them already saying "Why is tia Patricia calling me again?")

- Go to at least 4 art exhibits per month.

- Be punctual

- Be generous. 

These are all feasible, I hope.   

When it comes down to making and achieving resolutions, I work on making changes as if I was working with a kid.  For example, telling a child that he is awful at math, punishing him, taking the Wii away until he gets the homework perfect, and then telling him that if he doesn't improve within two weeks he is gonna probably never learn, is just f*cked up.  But yet, I used to put similar pressure on myself,  made ridiculous resolutions and failed to focus in the little steps that took me there.  I'd look at my past failures,  felt like shit for not achieving them, hit rock bottom, then make peace and start again.  What a violent way to make goals! 

Rejoicing on the little changes and goals I've achieved- rather than beating myself up for the ones I didn't- has been life changing.  This happened naturally; I noticed how happy I would feel when people around me made little changes to their lives that mattered, such as when one of my students finally did chaturanga correctly, or when my friend finally stopped partying every night and cut it down to partying 3 times a week. If I can feel  happy for the little changes the people around me are achieving towards a goal, why can't I do the same for myself?  

So as we all look back through our last year, we should rejoice on the little steps we accomplished.  Rejoice on all the baby steps the people around you have accomplished, and then go back and rejoice on yours.  So what if your wife is still annoying, at least she left you alone during those two games of ______ and then cooked dinner.  Or so what if you didn't get a boyfriend this year? At least you stopped looking in all the wrong places...   I stopped smoking this year, and although I have a cigarette here and there, I can say that I don't smoke anymore.  That's how this works. 

You may not have reached your resolution, but any effort towards that goal counts.  Next year (and every day after) you will have chance to try again.